


Toronto

by PollyPocket18



Series: The Downfall [2]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Love, Partners to Lovers, Sad, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 05:49:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16989207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PollyPocket18/pseuds/PollyPocket18
Summary: "I was ready," She whispered softly, staring out the window as they pulled up the venue. "Just so you know, I was ready.""What?" He asked, his face flushing a ghostly shade of pale as he looked at her delicate features. "Tess, look at me. What do you mean you were ready?"ORA continuation of the Nashville angst to explain why Scott looked so sad at the Walk of Fame events.





	Toronto

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to everyone who took the time to read, leave kudos, and leave comments on "Nashville." 
> 
> I'm not sure yet, but I think there will be at least one more part to this series.
> 
> Please let me know what you think.
> 
> Also, disclaimer, I know these are real people with real feelings and that's why this is a work of fiction.
> 
> Thanks to the person who pre-read and allowed me to bounce my ideas! :)

This wasn't how this weekend was supposed to go.

At best, she had been frosty. At worst, she had ignored his entire existence. She was turning on her media charm, but he could see right through it. He could feel the tension beneath her gorgeous green eyes, he could see the nerves lingering behind her smile.

This weekend was supposed to be about them.

It was supposed to be a celebration of the last year, of all of their accomplishments, of the past 21 years.

Instead, as usual, he had gone and messed things up. He wasn't sure why he had invited _her_ to Nashville, and he wasn't sure as to why he had agreed when she suggested accompanying him to the Walk of Fame celebrations. He had to know it would hurt Tessa, but he did it any way. He had to know fans would find out, but he did it any way. He had to know it would make him look like a douche and an asshole and a "fuccboi," but he did it anyway.

And the worst part was, he had no idea why.

Sure, things with her had been fun enough, and easy enough, but at the end of the day, she lived thousands of miles away, in another country. After a few months of flirty texts and stolen weekends, it wouldn't be fun or easy anymore. He had done long-distance relationships for most of his adult life, and they had never ended well.

Not that he and Jackie were officially in a relationship, not yet anyway.

But he had spent ten months in Tessa's bed, her arms, her heart, and they weren't in a relationship either. They were never in a relationship. She hadn't been able to give that to him, and he didn't know why.

He didn't understand how she could give him so much, but how she held back from that. She could lay on his chest when they slept, she could wrap herself around him in hotel beds across the world, she could hold him as he cried over his grandfather's death, and she could drop to her knees in a dirty rink bathroom after an especially provocative practice session. Yet, she couldn't give him a relationship.

This time around, she had said she needed time. She had told him they needed to come down from their high before jumping into anything serious. He had agreed, he said he'd wait, that he loved her, that he'd wait, and then, he...didn't.

He didn't know why he could never wait.

Sitting alone in his hotel room, he buried his face in his hands before flopping back on the bed, his eyes blurry and bloodshot from too much whiskey and too little sleep. He was exhausted, mentally, physically, and emotionally, but for the next three days, he'd be stuffed in a suit and forced to smile for the cameras.

He wanted to lock himself in a room and drink himself into oblivion and sleep for a week. He didn't want to talk to Tessa, to talk about her. He didn't want to talk to Jackie, to talk about her. He didn't want to answer his mom's questions or his dad's concerns. He didn't want to see his brothers, happy with their wives. He didn't want to face Kate Virtue, who never thought he was quite good enough for her daughter.

He groaned, exhausted, swallowing back a sleeping pill with two more fingers of whiskey, willing sleep to come.

Hours later, he was in a gray suit, his palms sweaty as he sat between his two skating partners. As always, Tessa had been cordial, but he knew deep down, that she was dying inside. Her smile didn't reach her eyes the way it usually did, and what were the odds that both his date and his... _Tessa_ would show up in jumpsuits?

Tessa was eternally glamorous, dark hair pulled back revealing her perfect features, while her body was perfectly accentuated by the black romper, all lithe and lean. Then there was Jackie on his other side, also in a jumpsuit. He had told her she looked pretty (she did), but next to Tessa, she looked like a little girl playing dress up. It took all of his self-control to keep his eyes on the woman he had invited to be his date, and not the woman who he always went back to.

As the first event wound down, he couldn't even bring himself to say goodbye to Tessa, noticing the sadness in her eyes every time theirs locked. Instead, he and Jackie slipped into the night, Tessa simply shaking her head as she watched the back of his leave the ballroom.

If he thought day one was bad, day two was worse. There were multiple events, red carpet appearances and a Godforsaken request that they hold up a "LOVE" sign while taking a picture. When they weren't on camera, she was frosty, and even flirty with other men, tossing her long, straight hair over her shoulder as she giggled to Seth Rogen, and flirtatiously posed with one of the waiters. He had no right to be jealous. He was the one who had brought a date. He was the one who has ruined things.

But she was the one who couldn't commit. She was the one who had said no.

She hadn't said no. She had asked for time.

And now, on day three, they sat quietly in the back of a limo, awaiting their arrival at the Walk of Fame celebration. When he had met her in the lobby, he had lost his breath, unable to tear his eyes away from her as he drank in the sight of her. The green dress made her eyes pop, the fur coat made her look like a princess, and the sadness in her eyes when she saw him made his heart break.

She offered him a weak smile and a tentative "hi" as they made their way into the limo.

"You look beautiful," He finally choked out, the tension palpable. "I've always loved you in green."

"Thank you." She smiled softly and genuinely for the first time since Nashville, as her eyes met his. "You look great too, like James Bond or something."

"I feel like a penguin." He grinned, eyes scrunching ever so slightly at the corners as his lips pulled into a tight smile. "You see the shoes?"

"Are those the Loubis?" She asked, eyes widening.

"Of course, how could I not wear them today?"

"They look perfect," She admitted, lifting her eyes to his, before looking away. She bit her lip before turning back to him, the softness in her expression replaced by something else. "How does your girlfriend feel about you wearing the thousand dollar shoes I bought you?"

"Tess-" He warned, tense silence slipping back over them as they rode the rest of the way in silence.

_He stepped out of the dressing room, spinning around on the heels of his converse with a "ta da" motion. He watched the way her eyes lit up, as she eyed him. She stood up, pulling at the sides of his jacket to button it closed. "This is a change..." He husked out. "Usually you're unbuttoning me."_

_"I have a feeling I'll be unbuttoning you after the Walk of Fame," She purred, thankful for the privacy of the dressing room, as she lifted up on her toes to press her lips to his._

_He kissed her back, hands settling on the small of her back. "I can't wait for that night."_

_"Me neither," She smiled, his forehead coming to rest against hers. "Now...let's get you a bowtie!"_

They sat in silence in the limo, their hands resting on the cool leather seat between them. She knew he wanted to hold her hand, and she wanted it too. Wordlessly, she slid her pinky across the seat, interlocking it with his. As mad as she was, she knew that they both needed the comfort, the grounding only each other could provide.

"I'm sorry, kiddo." He whispered. "I don't know what I'm doing..."

"I was ready," She whispered softly, staring out the window as they pulled up the venue. "Just so you know, I was ready."

"What?" He asked, his face flushing a ghostly shade of pale as he looked at her delicate features. "Tess, look at me. What do you mean you were ready?"

"Remember in Utah? When I invited you to spend Labor Day at the cottage with me...after I got back from France..." She trailed off, biting her lip to ward off tears. "I was going to tell you then that I didn't want to wait anymore, that I was ready for you. For _us_."

"Fuck, T."

"You went to Florida," She shrugged. "I figured it was a sign that the timing wasn't right and that I'd wait until after the tour to tell you. I thought today would've been our first official outing as a couple."

"Baby..." He choked out, squeezing her hand, begging her to look at him. She stared out the window instead, as the car came to a stop, the door being tugged open to reveal photographers and throngs of fans. He could see her switch on her media face, smiling and waving, while he couldn't do the same. His devastation was all over his face.

Why couldn't he have waited?

Why did he go to Florida that weekend?

Why was he always so impulsive?

He gritted his teeth, his jaw clenching as he got out of the limo, knowing rightfully so, that all eyes would be on Tessa, who was as radiant as a princess.

They sat in the audience, laughing at the presenters and making nice with each other for the cameras. As Max from the Arkells hit the stage to introduce them, he felt his heart racing. He wanted to hold her hand, to slide his fingers to the pulse point on her delicate wrist. The montage to "Long Time Running" played and he could feel himself choking up, their best memories on the screen, almost like another lifetime.

He cringed as the clip showed him, covering his mouth to whisper into Tessa's ear. He knew that people thought he had changed, had grown up into a good man, had put dumb, messed up 2014 Scott to rest, and beat his demons.

Yet, here he was again, drinking too much, sleeping too little, and hurting everyone around him. Especially the woman to his right, the most important person in his life.

He could hear Max jokingly acting as a wedding officiant, and if things were different, he could be interlocking his fingers with Tessa's, or kissing her before they accepted this award. Instead, he could feel Jackie throwing daggers in their direction with her eyes.

Just another thing he'd need to apologize for later.

His legs felt heavy as he climbed the steps to the stage, his hand instinctively finding the small of her back, more to ground himself than anything else. It was an out-of-body experience standing on stage, and accepting the award, his eyes finally meeting hers as he choked up. She pulled his eyes to hers, hand on his neck and back in the most soothing way as he fought back tears.

He didn't remember much as they headed backstage, receiving congratulations from those around. Scott breathed heavily, feeling like his head was spinning, as he gripped a nearby wall.

"Scott?" She asked, her previously icy voice suddenly laced with worry. "You okay?"

"I don't know," He choked out, turning to lean his head against the wall between his arms, tears streaming down his cheeks. His breathing only intensified as her hand landed on his shoulder, urging him into her arms. Wordlessly, he accepted her embrace, face settling in the crook of her neck as he shook in her arms, his breath frantic against her shoulder. She could feel his heart racing against her chest.

"You're having a panic attack, it's okay, breathe with me." She whispered soothingly, fingers coming to draw tiny circles on the back of his neck in a way that was certain to calm him, as it had many times in the past. "Breathe, Scott. Breathe with me."

He clung tighter to her, finally beginning to feel his body relax in her arms. As usual, she had pulled him back together. "Together," He whispered softly, raising chills on her neck as his breathing returned to normal. "I don't deserve you, kiddo."

"Not tonight, Scott." She whispered, pulling back from his embrace to look into his eyes. "Let's enjoy the rest of the night."

"I just want to go home," He admitted. "I want to lock myself in my bedroom and sleep for a month. I want to rewind time."

"It doesn't work that way," She smiled sadly, lifting both hands to rest on his cheeks. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I think so." He sighed, sad eyes locking into her green eyes. "You saved me, as always."

"I'll always save you," She whispered softly, knowing it was true, as much as it shouldn't be.

He knew it too.

"I told you I don't deserve you."


End file.
